I'm Afraid of Men

I'm Afraid of Men

"Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and challenge you to do better. This challenge is a necessary one?one we must all take up. It is a gift to dive into Vivek's heart and mind." ?Rupi Kaur, bestselling author of The Sun and Her Flowers and Milk and Honey A trans artist explores how masculinity was imposed on "Emotional and painful but also layered with humour, I'm Afraid of Men will widen your lens on gender and chall...

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Title:I'm Afraid of Men
Author:Vivek Shraya
Rating:
Genres:Nonfiction
ISBN:I'm Afraid of Men
ISBN
Edition Language:English
Format Type:Hardcover
Number of Pages:96 pages pages

I'm Afraid of Men Reviews

  • Sunny
    Nov 04, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

  • Liz Laurin
    May 04, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

  • Jerrie (redwritinghood)
    Oct 21, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

  • l.
    Oct 19, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

  • Basma
    Oct 22, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

  • Lisa H
    Sep 06, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

  • Krista
    Sep 04, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

  • Laura Frey (Reading in Bed)
    Nov 08, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

  • Kim Trusty
    Sep 08, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

    This manifesto hit a lot of points for me. I know mostly people who are in academia will want to read this, but I really think it's accessible to everyone. Vivek simply highlights her experiences with and around men, as well as those that come because she is a trans-woman and queer. Bu...

    ?I have always been disturbed by this transition, by the reality that often the only way to capture someone?s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my huma...

    This was incredible powerful. Vivek?s honesty was inspiring and also eye opening. Definitely a must read. Thank you to Penguin Randomhouse for the ARC. ...

    Clear-eyed and questioning. A concise and emotional. A necessary read. ...

  • Laura
    Sep 25, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

    This manifesto hit a lot of points for me. I know mostly people who are in academia will want to read this, but I really think it's accessible to everyone. Vivek simply highlights her experiences with and around men, as well as those that come because she is a trans-woman and queer. Bu...

    ?I have always been disturbed by this transition, by the reality that often the only way to capture someone?s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my huma...

    This was incredible powerful. Vivek?s honesty was inspiring and also eye opening. Definitely a must read. Thank you to Penguin Randomhouse for the ARC. ...

    Clear-eyed and questioning. A concise and emotional. A necessary read. ...

    Required reading. ...

  • Emily
    Oct 25, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

    This manifesto hit a lot of points for me. I know mostly people who are in academia will want to read this, but I really think it's accessible to everyone. Vivek simply highlights her experiences with and around men, as well as those that come because she is a trans-woman and queer. Bu...

  • Sarah
    Sep 25, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

  • Jackie
    Jun 30, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

  • Elissa
    Nov 08, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

  • CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian
    Oct 19, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

  • Prakash
    Sep 01, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

  • Andy Bird
    Aug 28, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

  • Brandon Forsyth
    Sep 23, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

  • Beth
    Aug 29, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

  • Jane
    Oct 27, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

  • Karina
    Jul 11, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

  • chantel nouseforaname
    Oct 23, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

  • Kiki
    Aug 26, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

  • Elisabeth Manley
    Sep 23, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

  • Julia Moreira
    Sep 16, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

    This manifesto hit a lot of points for me. I know mostly people who are in academia will want to read this, but I really think it's accessible to everyone. Vivek simply highlights her experiences with and around men, as well as those that come because she is a trans-woman and queer. Bu...

    ?I have always been disturbed by this transition, by the reality that often the only way to capture someone?s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my huma...

  • Dylan
    Nov 10, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

  • Critterbee❇
    May 01, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

    This manifesto hit a lot of points for me. I know mostly people who are in academia will want to read this, but I really think it's accessible to everyone. Vivek simply highlights her experiences with and around men, as well as those that come because she is a trans-woman and queer. Bu...

    ?I have always been disturbed by this transition, by the reality that often the only way to capture someone?s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my huma...

    This was incredible powerful. Vivek?s honesty was inspiring and also eye opening. Definitely a must read. Thank you to Penguin Randomhouse for the ARC. ...

    Clear-eyed and questioning. A concise and emotional. A necessary read. ...

    Required reading. ...

    *e-Arc Netgalley* ...

  • Monika
    Jun 08, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

  • Krystal Hicks
    Jul 06, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...

    I wanted to like this book more than I did. I think as a memoir it succeeds, but it has the flavour of a manifesto, and I guess that's where I stumbled with it. In summary--I don't think women or anyone assigned female at birth (AFAB) would find any of her experiences surprising. Distr...

    This book is a necessary antidote to cisgender, white perspectives of feminism in a post-#MeToo era (whatever that even means anymore!). What I found particularly powerful about Shraya's theorizing of masculinity is all the love and hope the narrator (and younger selves) gives the men ...

    Vivek Shraya's writing is undeniably important: direct and powerful, a voice that should be heard more widely. It certainly forced me to examine the ways in which my masculinity has been programmed (why don't I own any dress shirts that aren't black, blue, or white?) and may be threate...

    I?ll wait to share my favourite quotes until this comes out but wow do I have a few! I Love Good Essays ...

    A slim, 84 pages, hyper personal essay / memoir of being trans, bi, a person of color & what it would mean to be a "Good man". If you're interested in sexuality or gender I would highly recommend It! ...

    This is not a long book; it is more of an essay that can be read slowly. Split into two parts ("you" and "me" ? describing the abuse laid out against Shraya by "you" and the way she confronted her own internal biases in "me"), this is a quiet, powerful essay about toxic masculinity a...

    An essential read for everyone. most especially for cisgender people and people who don't experience harassment and gender based violence regularly. it reads like a bunch of non-linear vignettes that build a picture of how male violence shapes everything about life as a woman and as a ...

    This manifesto hit a lot of points for me. I know mostly people who are in academia will want to read this, but I really think it's accessible to everyone. Vivek simply highlights her experiences with and around men, as well as those that come because she is a trans-woman and queer. Bu...

    ?I have always been disturbed by this transition, by the reality that often the only way to capture someone?s attention and to encourage them to recognize their own internal biases (and to work to alter them) is to confront them with sensational stories of suffering. Why is my huma...

    This was incredible powerful. Vivek?s honesty was inspiring and also eye opening. Definitely a must read. Thank you to Penguin Randomhouse for the ARC. ...

  • Charlotte (charandbooks)
    Nov 29, 2018

    4.5! Moving, accessible, important: that's what this book is! I loved it. My only complaint is that it was so short! Full review to come on my blog. "What if you were to challenge yourself every time you feel afraid of me, and all of us who are pushing against gendered expectations...

    I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me fear. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to fear the word girl by turning it into a weapon they used to hurt me. I'm afraid of men because it was men who taught me to hate and eventually destroy my femininity. I'm a...

    Tbh Vivek just isn?t in command of her material here. The way Vivek continually conflates femininity and women is extremely irritating and I?m fed up of trans writers doing this. I?m tried of people substituting the word feminine for female - which Vivek does repeatedly. They?r...

    This was an incredible essay. In so few pages Vivek Shraya really drives her point home. It's as heart wrenching as it is illuminating. This is essential reading - for everyone. Special thanks to NetGalley for the ARC! I'm Afraid of Men comes out August 28. Please pick up a copy. If...

    This slim volume is a longish essay about the author?s experiences as a bisexual teen and then later as a trans woman. There aren?t any insights here that anyone up on contemporary feminism would find surprising, but the deeply personal aspect of the essays makes it a compelling re...

    How to describe this book? It's essentially an almanac of whining. Shraya, born into privilege and now a university professor after struggling for many years to achieve fame as a pop star, enumerates the ways in which she's felt oppressed, or even made slightly uncomfortable, by men (a...

    I initially picked up this book hoping to see through the eyes of a trans woman and educate myself on what her path might look like. What I discovered was an insight into a very difficult journey but along with that I was challenged in my own perception of gender conformity. It mad...

    Some will be afraid of this book and that?s exactly why they - and you - should read it. It makes you think, it makes you nod in agreement and shake your head at the behaviour of some and most importantly forces you to consider yourself. ...

    Make yourself smaller, invisible, don?t take up too much space, don?t accidentally rub arms with the man next to you on the subway. Don?t make eye contact, or smile, don?t accidentally show an interest that could be seen as ?asking for it?, whatever ?it? may be. Vivek S...

    This was a hard and very instigating read for me that I could and couldn?t relate to on LEVELS. I have many issues with so many concepts in this book and they mainly stem from the pointed questions, relating to her own experience, that Vivek uses to paint cis-gendered woman in this a...

    *I've chosen to try to no longer rate memoirs unless I find it problematic/harmful or is a five star read. I really appreciated this and Vivek's experiences being a trans queer woman, but I just feel like this book is too short. She would start to talk about her experiences and I co...

    I don't know how to rate this, so I won't at the moment. There were several passages that were thought provoking, but was not the uncomfortable or confronting read I was expecting. Particularly the (very relatable) concept of wanting to be seen/desired, but also be invisible at the sam...

    One of those books that I?m finding it hard to review so I?m just going to let it go.. ...

    After reading "even this page is white" I never thought I would see my experience as a (gender)queer South Asian person living in Canada so acutely expressed in literature. But "I'm Afraid of Men" has done just that. Vivek Shraya so succinctly and devastatingly recounts how the systemi...

    Honestly, everyone should read this book. Shraya examines how masculinity has effected her life, she was too feminine as a boy, and is not feminine enough as a girl. It brings up tough questions about gender and asks us to reconsider what it means to be a "good" man. How do we make goo...

    this book is incredible but I feel the need to consider my review better as a queer white cis woman. I underlined many passages and felt it very deeply. ...

    This was a conflicting read for me. I felt that the intersectional comments and her experience were so valuable but was thrown off when her arguments fell into the trap of confined socially assigned gender roles (like being afraid of ?too masculine? and ?dominating women at dinne...